Review
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Title: I Was A Born Again-Mormon: Moving Toward Christian Authenticity
Author: Shawn McCraney
Publisher: Alathea Press
Genre: Non-fiction
Year Published: 2003
Number of Pages: 354
Binding: Quality Paperback
ISBN: 0-9766276-0-4
Price: $9.95
Reviewed by Jeffrey Needle
I live in a strange world of bi-polar competing realities, a world where many of my friends are incapable of seeing the large gray areas that we all, in reality, live in, preferring the starkness of a black and white existence. Yes, I have friends who are True Believing Mormons. To some of them, because I'm not a true believer, I must be an anti-Mormon. Other friends despise Mormonism. They consider me a hopelessly lost heretic, even though I'm not LDS. Sheesh. Life can be tough sometimes.
In this world, there are any number of ways one can react. I have learned to just relax, let them have their say, and retreat into my own lovely world of smug innocence and self-satisfied neutrality. We love certainty, and fight tooth and nail for it. The author says it best:
"Uncertainty...is a terrifying place to be. And because most people instinctively understand this principle, they spend an awful lot of time making sure they can be sure. Latter-day Saints are no different. And though the price I've personally paid for my willingness to embrace uncertainty has been enormous and extremely painful for everyone involved, it was necessary, in light of my nature, to test all things and discover for myself where absolute truth existed." (p. 64)
I must admit that he nearly lost me here. I'm one of those who simply cannot believe in absolute truth. I think just about everything is negotiable. Not a nice place for the Christian fellow to be, but this is where I am.
The author of this book, Shawn McCraney, was raised a true believer. As of the writing of this book, his mother still served as a worker in the San Diego Temple. McCraney served a mission, attended all the right educational institutions, served in multiple callings in his wards -- you get the picture. But under all this uniformity, beneath all of this living the life, there was an unsettling doubt that festered within, ultimately leading him out of the institutional Mormon church and into an evangelical, born-again experience.
Sigh. Yet another "I left Mormonism" story. Pshaw. Another angry man leaves the Church, only to write a book explaining how evil Mormonism is, and how all Mormons are headed to hell.
Nope. None of the above. Instead, McCraney has turned out a thoughtful and compassionate study of Mormonism, his own experience within the Church, and the struggles he faced as he found himself further and further away from the religion of his birth. And he makes no bones about it: the struggle was very real. The first part of his book is a lengthy memoir of the long and painful journey he traveled as he found his way out of Mormonism and into what he calls "Christian authenticity."
I'm not much of one to enjoy autobiography. I always think that the author must, by necessity, have a biased view of him or herself. Looking from the outside in, I believe there is a better chance of understanding the person, the life. But McCraney's story, which takes place mostly within the confines of his own conscience, could only have been told by him. The struggles, the despair, and finally the clarity, could only have been told by the one who has lived that life.
The best parts of the book, in my opinion, are the chapters that describe Joseph Smith and the Book of Mormon. The author makes every effort to offer a balanced view (you know, the gray areas?) of the personalities and products of the Restoration. He doesn't come down on the side of belief, but he does offer a compassionate understanding of the times and contexts in which the Restoration occurred.
A quick sample: after meditating on the life and work of Joseph Smith, looking at his merits and his faults, the author wisely observes:
"The truth [about Joseph Smith] seems to slip somewhere between the rock of relentless accusation and the hard place of making him almost a god. After reading a substantial amount of respectable work about his character, sense of humor, charm and enigmatic charisma, I often wonder if he wanted his image to end up this way." (p. 122)
His thoughts on the Book of Mormon are, as you might guess, a bit skeptical, but he shows so much insight as he observes:
"For reasons still unclear, most writers who attack the authenticity and/or origins of the Book of Mormon do so on some of its more inconsequential aspects and fail to see the book for what it really was *intended* to be: a second witness of Jesus Christ." (p. 174)
To McCraney, matters of historicity, etc., are less important than the Book of Mormon's intended (in his view) primary role as a witness to the reality of Jesus Christ. This is not standard anti-Mormon stuff. Instead, it's a mature and compassionate view of the faith in which he was raised.
He finds much to commend about Mormonism, but also much that he believes a born-again Christian cannot accept. And in the end, in order to be true to his own convictions, he had to reject the Mormon theological system and embrace the tenets of evangelicalism.
"I Was A Born-Again Mormon" is a fascinating and eye-opening read. When I first announced this book for review, I received several private emails telling me not to bother -- they've heard "this guy" on the radio. He's anti-Mormon, pure and simple. I can't remark on that. I can only observe what I read in the book. What I find is a gracious treatment of an often-volatile subject.
Returning to my bi-polar realities: neither side will be satisfied with this book. But both sides should give it a read. Feel free to accept what seems right to you, and reject the rest. In the end, McCraney emerges as a unique, and well-considered, voice in the realm of ex-Mormonism.
Inquiries may be directed to
shawn@bornagainmormon.com.
Jeff Needle
Association for Mormon Letters
jeff.needle@gmail.com<www.aml-online.org>
<www.LDSBookLovers.com/Needle.html>
