Review
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Title: Forgiving Ourselves Getting Back Up When We Let Ourselves Down
Author: Wendy Ulrich
Publisher: Deseret Book
Genre: Nonfiction
Year Published: 2008
Number of Pages: 273
Binding: Paperback
ISBN: 978-1-59038-857-0
Price: $16.95

Reviewed by Karen Hamilton

It is surprising how much individuals can and do punish themselves for sins, failures and imagined hurts. There would be fewer heartbreaks if the ideas presented in this book could be taught to every soul. Wendy Ulrich approaches this delicate topic with grace, love and concern for individuals who are having a hard time liking themselves, much less forgiving themselves.

Often, as the repentance process is undertaken, it seems that not all the steps are completed. The one that is often overlooked is self forgiveness. This step is the hardest and the most overlooked. “There is a mighty power of healing in Christ, and . . . if we are to be his true servants, we must not only exercise that healing power in behalf of others, but, perhaps more important, inwardly.” (Gordon B. Hinckley pg.1) With this quote to start off, Ulrich begins readers on a journey that will help them find the peace that is elusive to most who are repenting.

At the first stop of this journey, Ulrich helps to define personal beliefs. She does this by reviewing the Plan of Salvation, defining self forgiveness and how it will benefit the individual. Through five statements that are common in hindering the belief that every soul is entitled to forgiving peace, she is able to show how “sideways” some thinking can become. Self forgiveness is explained in understandable terms and how important it is in our lives.

The second stop on the journey reviews the steps of repentance and when it is necessary in our life. This also includes how important it is to make positive changes in the way life is lived, including behavior changes, making restitution, apologizing a sincere manner, rebuilding trust and forgiving others. Here Ulrich helps to draw out the festering wounds that never seem to get better and helps the reader to better understand them.

The third stop involves (or leads to) a lot of deep soul searching. This is where Ulrich looks at the obstacles to internal peace. These include: depression, excessive pride or shame, obsessive-compulsive tendencies, resentment, self destructive unselfishness, and the effects of trauma and/or abuse. It can be very hard to look that closely at oneself. “If you put a small value upon yourself, rest assured that the world will not raise your price.” (Anonymous pg. 172)

The last stop on this wonderful journey is perhaps the hardest. This is where Ulrich strongly encourages the reader to trust God. She reminds us that even though sins are serious and can hurt the ones we love most, the Atonement can bring peace. Ulrich concludes with suggested exercises that can help in exercising agency to choose God and to trust his capacity to love and forgive. This is a journey that everyone should take and it is worth the trip.